Slander and Harrassing Voicemails to:

• 1+ (858) 335 . 1244

"Face-on-the-copy-machine" portraits faxed to:

• 1+ (614) 386 . 1244

Deposed South African government employee money requests to:

• ape @ ape - works . com

Mail bombs to:

• PO Box 504292, San Diego CA 92150-4292

Pretend you're networking with someone important at:

• AIM: originalApeWorks

Social / Business Networking Junkies needing a fix to:

• LinkedIn | Facebook | Plaxo

*It's a digital and analog world. I prefer digital, so I'm attached to my. Email me for best results.